featherxquill: (Don'tKnowLove)
[personal profile] featherxquill
FRIENDS.

I need your help. Well, more precisely, my dear friend Chris, [livejournal.com profile] sir_broodalot needs help.

There is only so much I can say to him, when his best friend of more than twenty years suddenly tells him she is in love with him. There is only so much experience my nineteen years have given me, and there is really nothing I can say that has any real meaning for him.

If any of you have ever been in this situation, please go and tell him how you dealt with it, how you came out alive with your sanity in tact. If any of you have been the one who's felt the unrequited love in such a situation, please go and tell him what you can about how it happened. He doesn't understand. I don't unerstand, and I don't know what to say to him.

There is so much love in this fandom, and I have seen so much love on my flist. I want to do all I can to help him get through this, and it would mean a lot to me if people could offer him the advice that I cannot.

Thanks.

Date: 2005-09-23 03:16 pm (UTC)
ext_39901: (Default)
From: [identity profile] snapelike.livejournal.com
I think this is one of the most difficult situations one can experience in life when it comes to friendship and/or love. To be loved by a person and not be able to return the feelings. Or rather not in a romantical way.

There's not much to do, I think, other than let time calm things down. Your friend must be patient and let his friend grieve and collect herself.

The only thing you can do is to be there and listen and support him.

*hugs*

This is not much different from being the one who falls out of love and being the one who has to break up a (long-lasting) relationship. It still needs time. Then - and only then - there is a possibility they can find a way to be friends again.

I have never been in love with a friend in that way, and I hope I never will. It is a crappy situation.

Date: 2005-09-23 03:29 pm (UTC)
ext_6725: (Default)
From: [identity profile] featherxquill.livejournal.com
Thanks. I'll pass the message onto him.

*hugs back*

Date: 2005-09-24 01:32 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I was best friends with a guy for nine years, from 1st grade to 9th. The first time I heard a girl say that she liked him, back in 7th grade, I actually laughed. The idea was just too absurd.
And then, of course, as we moved on to high school and he became more loved by the girls (mostly because he was completely girl-shy when it came to dating), I began to fall for him. I just never said anything, because I knew how awkward and uncomfortable he was around girls who said they liked him. I always put our friendship first.
I think I liked him so much because... I really just loved everything about him. That's why we became friends, I suppose. I admit, he's good-looking, but he's really brilliant and has a great sense of humor and is very supportive. The fact that he managed to stay friends with a girl all through high school - and I know he got just as many crude jokes as I did - indicates to me that he really values our friendship too. We're still good friends, and I admit that I still have a stupid crush on him. But I don't think I'd ever tell him unless he expressed an interest in me first, because I couldn't stand losing him in any sense.
Sorry for rambling - back to the point. Personally, I would only tell him if I really thought that I couldn't stand being just his friend anymore. Of course, it would completely depend on their friendship and the girl. I try to hide my emotions a lot of the time.
I know I just spammed this like whoa, and I'm terribly sorry. Feel free to delete if you'd like. I just hope everything works out for him. ♥

Date: 2005-09-29 02:54 am (UTC)
ext_6725: (Rita writes porn)
From: [identity profile] featherxquill.livejournal.com
Thanks for your words and wishes. I'll pass them along to Chris. Hopefully it will help. Thanks.

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