A Practical Question

[featherxquill]

Muriel is visiting Fleur and the baby over at road_ahead, and she's not being nearly interfering or opinionated enough. I think that might be because I have absolutely no idea what things an overbearing relative says to a new mother what she should be doing, how she should be doing it, or, you know, whatever it is people say to new mothers.

I know there are a number of mothers on my flist, or just people with more experience with babies than me. Help?

What kinds of things do people try and advise you of when you have a baby? (And how annoying is it on a scale of one to ten)?

Comments

[florahart]

how warmly to dress them
how to more effectively hold them
whether they should be napping now/generally on or not on a schedule like or not like the one they are on
whether they should be being burped more/less often
whether you should let them cry or pick them up immediately
how you should talk to them
what it means when they (anything whatsoever)
whether you should be boiling anything they might tough more/less often
whether it's okay to take them out in the weather
what time(s) you should feed them

All annoying.

[florahart]

(I will tell you it has been nearly 13 years, and it took me roughly thirty seconds to make that list, so, yes, all Quite Annoying.)

[featherxquill.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That will all be helpful! :D *steeples fingers and goes off to post*

[rattlesnakeroot.livejournal.com]

My mother-in-law wasn't my favorite person, but she was actually very supportive. However, my father-in-law and brother-in-law, who are terrible with children, always gave me stupid advice. All of these are perfect 10s.

It's good to let the baby cry - helps their lungs/helps their psyche.
(So fight that instinctive urge to pick them up! Cuddling is a waste of time!)

If you pick the baby up too much you'll spoil him/her.
(Because punishment and withholding affection begins at birth, right?)

Babytalk keeps children from learning to speak well.
(Then my kids must be really stupid now - not!).

Mothers are too "overinvolved" with the baby and need to leave him with a babysitter more often.
(Yes, it's so selfish to want to hold and feed your own baby.)

Babies need something to help them sleep - catnip or chamomile.
(Just feeding and rocking isn't enough because mothers don't know what they are doing anyway!)

It's good for babies to be around a crowd of people - helps them sleep, helps them become social, helps them "get to know" their relatives.
(This just means the relatives refuse to go home and stop intering.)

These are from my stupid sister-in-law who is also an interfering person. She is a grandma now and has convinced her daughter that she's incompetent with the grandchildren. She is also a 10 on the annoying scale.

To be a really dedicated mother, you need to give the baby a bath twice a day. Or maybe three times a day. And change her clothes alot because it's more "sanitary."
(If you want them to grow up to be an obsessive/compulsive clean freak like yourself)

Cereal will help a newborn sleep.
(Except they can't swallow or digest it, but don't let that stop you!).

Breastfeeding is doomed to fail and it's too messy anyway. Bottles are better and help the baby sleep longer.
Related to this - Babies need to be a on a strict nap schedule.
(Bottlefeeding does not help babies sleep longer. Breastfeeding babies sleep just fine if they are full, but to get them on a schedule, it takes a few weeks - by then many mothers give up because they have stupid relatives who tell them it will never work. It's just too interfering. A strict schedule is impossible with any baby because they have growth spurts and want to eat more sometimes, and some babies are wide awake alot more. My sis-in-law likes bottlefeeding because that means she can take her grandchildren home with her all weekend).

At the least sign of a sniffle, become hysterical and run to the doctor! The stronger the medicine, the better you are as a mother because it shows how caring you are.
(Because babies need to be on antibiotics most of their lives, even if those drugs will never cure the common cold. And doctors are much more intelligent than a mother, and paying doctors alot of money means you are a good parent.)

[featherxquill.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That will all be helpful! :D *steeples fingers and goes off to post*