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Jan. 31st, 2006 08:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
featherxquillA dramatic tabloid newspsper rendition of The Credit Card ATM Ordeal, for my Practical Journalism class. My Prof. asked me to write an article about something dramatic that's happened to me since I came to England, and, well, that was the first thing that sprang to mind. Note the tongue-in-cheek-ness, due to my complete inabilty to take myself seriously right now.
And I will be linking my Prof. here, so behave flist (and no, for the record, it's not that Professor).
Norwich, England, and an international student’s near-death experience.
Picture, for a moment, if you will, being in a foreign country. You are alone, and you do not have any friends or relatives closer than twenty hours away by plane. You have an accommodation bill to pay and food to buy. You have twenty pounds in your wallet. You approach an ATM with your trusty Visa card, and attempt to withdraw money.
‘PIN incorrect’. You try another ATM, with the same result. Then another. The third machine you try eats your card.
Remember that you are alone in a foreign country, and that you have only twenty pounds. Let these two ideas cycle through your mind over and over again.
This is the situation that befell Angela Nicholl, a 19-year-old university student from Australia, two weeks ago.
“I tried not to panic,” she confides in our reporter, “but it was difficult. I had another card back in my room, but if one PIN hadn’t worked, I had no idea if the other one would. It was a long walk back to my room. I panicked.”
Crisis was averted when the second card did work, but Ms Nicholl has something to say about her bank.
“They told me the card would work in an ATM – it worked in Australia. The other card – a straight EFTPOS card with no Visa – works in an ATM, but for some inexplicable reason cannot be used for in-store transactions. I wish the banks would get their acts together. Really.”
This reporter believes the majority of England would echo her sentiment.
By Rita Skeeter
And I will be linking my Prof. here, so behave flist (and no, for the record, it's not that Professor).
Norwich, England, and an international student’s near-death experience.
Picture, for a moment, if you will, being in a foreign country. You are alone, and you do not have any friends or relatives closer than twenty hours away by plane. You have an accommodation bill to pay and food to buy. You have twenty pounds in your wallet. You approach an ATM with your trusty Visa card, and attempt to withdraw money.
‘PIN incorrect’. You try another ATM, with the same result. Then another. The third machine you try eats your card.
Remember that you are alone in a foreign country, and that you have only twenty pounds. Let these two ideas cycle through your mind over and over again.
This is the situation that befell Angela Nicholl, a 19-year-old university student from Australia, two weeks ago.
“I tried not to panic,” she confides in our reporter, “but it was difficult. I had another card back in my room, but if one PIN hadn’t worked, I had no idea if the other one would. It was a long walk back to my room. I panicked.”
Crisis was averted when the second card did work, but Ms Nicholl has something to say about her bank.
“They told me the card would work in an ATM – it worked in Australia. The other card – a straight EFTPOS card with no Visa – works in an ATM, but for some inexplicable reason cannot be used for in-store transactions. I wish the banks would get their acts together. Really.”
This reporter believes the majority of England would echo her sentiment.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-01-31 08:30 pm (UTC)Will I get in trouble if I... uh...
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Date: 2006-01-31 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-31 08:33 pm (UTC)Yes, I did think of my layout *smile*. But he's a grown man. He might just appreciate her :)
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Date: 2006-01-31 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-31 09:04 pm (UTC)Indeed she is. And
:D
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Date: 2006-01-31 08:51 pm (UTC)I would hyphenate "near" and "death". When in England, do as the few English who have not become Americanised do. ;)
You have an accommodation bill to pay, and food to buy.
My inclination is to remove the comma.
On the third try, the machine eats your card.
The third machine you try eats your card.
Remember that you are alone in a foreign country, and that you only have twenty pounds. Let these things repeat through your mind over and over again.
Remember that you are alone in a foreign country, and that you have only twenty pounds. Let these two ideas cycle through your mind over and over again.
This is the situation that befell Angela Nicholl, a 19 year old university student from Australia, two weeks ago.
Here I am again, with my handy box of hyphens: 19-year-old.
“I tried not to panic,” she confides in our reporter, “But it was difficult."
“I tried not to panic,” she confided in our reporter, “but it was difficult."
...if one PIN hadn’t worked...
...if one PIN didn't work...
The other card – a straight EFTPOS card with no Visa – works in an ATM, but for some inexplicable reason cannot be used for in store transactions.
Ooh, you put in the "but" I was going to suggest. But the "in" later in the sentence definitely has to go. :)
This reporter believes that the majority of England would echo her sentiment.
The "that" is superfluous.
And despite all my inevitable quibbles... you did much better at writing in the journalistic style than I ever could! :D
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Date: 2006-01-31 09:01 pm (UTC)Thank you so much. It is now edited, with the exception of the two parts that were in quotes, since I was quoting myself, and that is probably what I would say :).
*uses random pretteh Judi icon for you*
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Date: 2006-01-31 09:26 pm (UTC)And thank you for the pretteh!
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Date: 2006-01-31 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-31 09:33 pm (UTC)(And one day, I hope to teach you the wonder of semicolons...)
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Date: 2006-02-01 07:00 am (UTC)